Just when you thought the hipster ingredients couldn’t get any weirder, we have one more for you. Now, along with the ethically sourced cacao nibs, the pickled everything and the bloody kale, we present: semen.
You heard right. A chef in London is planning on starting a new cooking class where the secret ingredient in the three course meal will be semen.
The class aims to teach the eager students how to use semen as an ingredient in the meal, that will include drinks. Those who choose to attend the class (and we question the sanity of all of them) will have a chance to make jerked chicken and schlong island iced tea.
Of course, the chef in question won’t be supplying the semen, so attendees will need to bring their own, or ask someone to donate some for them.
Not That Weird?
If you listen to Alix Fox, a sex expert (what a job!) who has been recruited to promote the class, the idea of cooking with semen might not seem so far-fetched:
“While this will doubtless appal many people, some individuals find the idea of consuming such an intimate substance an incredible turn-on.”
“I guess when you consider that humans regularly consume eggs – which are essentially the product of a chicken menstruating – eating a partner’s semen doesn’t seem quite so round the twist.”
Those wanting to have a go at eating the white stuff whipped up in a three-course meal have been invited to register their unusual interest, with the class only going ahead if 30 people apply.
For Those Not In London
Of course, if you aren’t in London and want to try cooking semen for yourself there are other options. Although it sounds like the first time this nightmare has been realised, it’s actually not. There’s an entire cookbook of mouthwatering recipes including semen with a four-star rating on Amazon right now. It’s called Natural Harvest (ew, ew, ew) by Paul Phoenhauer.
The description goes a little something like this:
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cookbook!”
The same author has also put out a book on Semenology for the home bartender.
Apparently, semen is an acquired taste, but we can’t help thinking about the issues one might have harvesting enough to use!